We’ve all heard of the term “the terrible twos”. Ironically, this doesn’t start at two, and it doesn’t end at three— it continues. Why? Because we’re learning. At the age of about eighteen months, children are somewhere between being a baby and a toddler. They can walk, communicate a bit, and are interested in their environment and what the people in their lives are doing. This stage where they are both adventurous and attached to you is usually one of the most rewarding. As they continue to grow, and hopefully develop some independence, this is where we start to test things, and the term “terrible twos” comes into play.
This adversary is well-sculpted in preschool. When children act out, they can learn the consequences of their actions. Children want to learn everything. They want to know why birds fly, drums make sounds, and how far they can push Mom and Dad before they get into trouble. It’s all part of the development. Pre-school turns that safe home environment into a new safe environment where testing the waters creates different experiences.
Fostering Empathy.
For many children, preschool is the first time they get to experience other children their age. Unlike when they act out at home, they will be able to empathize and put themselves into the shoes of someone else.
If a child hits you, as an adult, you calmly tell them hitting isn’t nice, and that hurts people, you ask why they did it, redirect how they should’ve used those emotions, and then ask them to apologize. Now, if a child hits another child, generally, what do they do? Cry, hit back, or get angry. Then they get to see the hurtful side of hitting. We say “Don’t hit, that hurts people”. What does hurting someone mean? For the first time, they understand that hurting someone else doesn’t feel good because they see the negative effects of that action on someone else.
Cooperation.
A toddler’s nemesis, cooperating. Why? Because in a home, a child typically has two paths.One where they get no say because there are errands or chores to be done. And one where they get all the say, because there is nothing to be done, and parents initiate playtime, which is usually child-led. This can create cooperation issues as they struggle to find a happy medium. No control or all the control is a lot for little minds.
When they enter preschool, they can take this in bite sizes. Yes, they have to sit quietly on the rug, but they get to read a book out of it. Yes, they have to wash their hands, but then we get a snack. And once again, we have removed the parent front of the equation. Children test their parents, but rarely other adults. This means they can start to balance control and work their cooperation muscles. The more they understand compromise, the easier life will slowly become. They want to do what you ask! And preschool can help get them there as they watch teachers and other children learn and grow.
Self-Regulation.
As skills of empathy and cooperation form, so will their self-control and self-regulation. When we learn we hit when we get mad, but hitting hurts others, and we don’t want to make others sad, slowly we learn how to self-regulate our emotions. Being in situations where emotions are tested on many levels solidifies this understanding. It’s a true skill to not act out, especially for little brains who haven’t been in the world long.
Preschool is a place to learn, not just with flashcards, colors, and the alphabet, but actually by placing children in situations they can’t get in their own homes. With the help of friends, parents, and teachers, preschool will foster empathy, help understand cooperation, and allow a child to learn how to self-regulate in their own time.